More From Charlotte's

Dear Constant Readers,

First off I hope all of you had a merry Christmas and are thus enjoying the holidays. I think Christmas is perhaps my favorite or at least second favorite holiday (Halloween might take the cake there), however I also realize that as happy as it as usually portrayed, that is not always the reality of Christmas. The last couple of Christmases have been fairly good, but the one my freshman year was a nightmare from Hell, although I guess I should point out that the fact it fell on Christmas was more coincidence than something that the holiday itself was to blame for.

I’m still at Charlotte’s house although I feel that I will need to be moving on soon. I don’t yet know if I’m going to stay for New Year’s or not. I enjoy being here, but she has to study for a test she has coming up, and I miss sleeping in my own bed in my own room, so to speak. I also have been invited to visit another friend’s family if I wish, and I’m considering accepting the invitation. I haven’t yet decided though. As I said I’m a bit itching for Trier again, and I feel that I need my own space again.

Whatever I decide though, I look forward to her visiting me, and likewise coming back to visit, if I can.

On Christmas day I called home and then called Amanda. As Charlotte’s family was preparing dinner, I felt a bit pressed for time to call both parties, but felt that it needed to be done, especially for Amanda because I hadn’t spoken with her in ages. On both accounts, though, I was a bit disappointed that no one had really much to say. I didn’t really no what to tell people. It worried me a bit, but I doubt it is so extreme at all, sometimes people just don’t have that much to say to one another, and with extremely close friends, as I feel Amanda and I are, words really aren’t so crucial.

I miss my friends, I miss Amanda and Sara and Kat and Käj and Joel and Katrina and Evan and the rest of them. I have always pictured myself blazing my own trail through life, and I hope that picture comes true. I think it is coming true. But I also always pictured myself living somewhere far from my family, and now I don’t know if I should do that. I think deep down I can and perhaps will, but it’s a hard life being a hopeless romantic! I don’t expect living abroad, as I hope to continue doing, to be easy, but I expect it to be very much worth it. I wouldn’t trade my experiences, even (most) of the hard ones I don’t think for anything else, as they’ve helped me become who I am now. Most people are never exchange students or something in that fashion in their lives. I’m doing it twice, a realization that after all this time finally sunk in a couple of days ago. And during the process one meets great people and great experiences (as I hope I’ve successfully conveyed here in my notes) but sometimes it’s so lonely. That is not a complaint, I’ll add. I’m just saying that everything in this world has a price. The hardest part about living abroad, I think, is not living abroad; it’s coming back and realizing that one never comes back.

Well, this note has gotten a little dismal, more that I intended. Being around Rita, Charlotte’s Mom, has reminded me what it’s like to have a mother around again. In some way, almost all mothers I think are basically perfectly similar. I don’t know how to explain it, but I suppose it just comes from raising a family. One can fall into the trap of thinking that because one is from another country, they must do things differently, but in fact the only major difference 90% is the language. The other night after dinner Charlotte, Rita, and I were talking and Rita compared me to other exchange students they’ve had in their family. Some were very outgoing, some where very indifferent and almost monotonous in their expressions. Right off the bat, Rita told me, her instincts about what kind of personality I had started kicking in. The way she told the story though reminded me of every other mother-figure I’ve had or spoken with. It’s as if they all had to have the same job qualifications. When I think about it, I find this apparent universal detail comforting. I suppose it’s a theme that I come back to often in this blog: the deep-down universality of everyone has been one of the most wonderful (and at times disappointing) and surprising things I’ve ever discovered.

I sometimes think that people themselves are just incredible beings. It’s just observations that I’ve made, and I won’t go into too much depth, but I sometimes enjoy watching how people interact with one another, how they band together, how in a hard time they it’s so interesting and moving how they cope and help each other, and how just touching another person even briefly can either repel them instantly (like the accidental brush against the unsuspecting hand of a stranger) or can be just the right healer. It’s like a power that was built inside of us to help others, like a sixth sense almost. For all the destruction that people wreak on others’ lives sometimes, I think we were all designed for good.

I have more to say, mostly regarding traveling I’ve done over the holidays, but I think this note is long enough. I will write everyone I guess in the New Year. So I hope everyone is enjoying the time they have, and that 2006 ends nicely for them.

With sincere good wishes,
Tristan