More From Charlotte's

Dear Constant Readers,

First off I hope all of you had a merry Christmas and are thus enjoying the holidays. I think Christmas is perhaps my favorite or at least second favorite holiday (Halloween might take the cake there), however I also realize that as happy as it as usually portrayed, that is not always the reality of Christmas. The last couple of Christmases have been fairly good, but the one my freshman year was a nightmare from Hell, although I guess I should point out that the fact it fell on Christmas was more coincidence than something that the holiday itself was to blame for.

I’m still at Charlotte’s house although I feel that I will need to be moving on soon. I don’t yet know if I’m going to stay for New Year’s or not. I enjoy being here, but she has to study for a test she has coming up, and I miss sleeping in my own bed in my own room, so to speak. I also have been invited to visit another friend’s family if I wish, and I’m considering accepting the invitation. I haven’t yet decided though. As I said I’m a bit itching for Trier again, and I feel that I need my own space again.

Whatever I decide though, I look forward to her visiting me, and likewise coming back to visit, if I can.

On Christmas day I called home and then called Amanda. As Charlotte’s family was preparing dinner, I felt a bit pressed for time to call both parties, but felt that it needed to be done, especially for Amanda because I hadn’t spoken with her in ages. On both accounts, though, I was a bit disappointed that no one had really much to say. I didn’t really no what to tell people. It worried me a bit, but I doubt it is so extreme at all, sometimes people just don’t have that much to say to one another, and with extremely close friends, as I feel Amanda and I are, words really aren’t so crucial.

I miss my friends, I miss Amanda and Sara and Kat and Käj and Joel and Katrina and Evan and the rest of them. I have always pictured myself blazing my own trail through life, and I hope that picture comes true. I think it is coming true. But I also always pictured myself living somewhere far from my family, and now I don’t know if I should do that. I think deep down I can and perhaps will, but it’s a hard life being a hopeless romantic! I don’t expect living abroad, as I hope to continue doing, to be easy, but I expect it to be very much worth it. I wouldn’t trade my experiences, even (most) of the hard ones I don’t think for anything else, as they’ve helped me become who I am now. Most people are never exchange students or something in that fashion in their lives. I’m doing it twice, a realization that after all this time finally sunk in a couple of days ago. And during the process one meets great people and great experiences (as I hope I’ve successfully conveyed here in my notes) but sometimes it’s so lonely. That is not a complaint, I’ll add. I’m just saying that everything in this world has a price. The hardest part about living abroad, I think, is not living abroad; it’s coming back and realizing that one never comes back.

Well, this note has gotten a little dismal, more that I intended. Being around Rita, Charlotte’s Mom, has reminded me what it’s like to have a mother around again. In some way, almost all mothers I think are basically perfectly similar. I don’t know how to explain it, but I suppose it just comes from raising a family. One can fall into the trap of thinking that because one is from another country, they must do things differently, but in fact the only major difference 90% is the language. The other night after dinner Charlotte, Rita, and I were talking and Rita compared me to other exchange students they’ve had in their family. Some were very outgoing, some where very indifferent and almost monotonous in their expressions. Right off the bat, Rita told me, her instincts about what kind of personality I had started kicking in. The way she told the story though reminded me of every other mother-figure I’ve had or spoken with. It’s as if they all had to have the same job qualifications. When I think about it, I find this apparent universal detail comforting. I suppose it’s a theme that I come back to often in this blog: the deep-down universality of everyone has been one of the most wonderful (and at times disappointing) and surprising things I’ve ever discovered.

I sometimes think that people themselves are just incredible beings. It’s just observations that I’ve made, and I won’t go into too much depth, but I sometimes enjoy watching how people interact with one another, how they band together, how in a hard time they it’s so interesting and moving how they cope and help each other, and how just touching another person even briefly can either repel them instantly (like the accidental brush against the unsuspecting hand of a stranger) or can be just the right healer. It’s like a power that was built inside of us to help others, like a sixth sense almost. For all the destruction that people wreak on others’ lives sometimes, I think we were all designed for good.

I have more to say, mostly regarding traveling I’ve done over the holidays, but I think this note is long enough. I will write everyone I guess in the New Year. So I hope everyone is enjoying the time they have, and that 2006 ends nicely for them.

With sincere good wishes,
Tristan

On Christmas Break

Dear Constant Readers,

Finally a break most of us have been expecting, yes? I don't know what all everyone receives, in Trier we get two weeks. Last year at Wesleyan we got a month or so, which I think was almost too much time.

I can't recall what all I've said already, so I may be repeating information. I was invited to go to Switzerland with three other friends, a trip which I almost took until a friend of mine from Germany invited me to spend Christmas with her, which I was quite happy to hear: I wanted to see Christmas with a German family. Yesterday and the day before, though, I felt a bit empty I wouldn't be in Switzerland with my other friends. I wasn't having second thoughts, but as I've spent that last three months with them, spending the holidays with them would have also been fun. But I am very pleased to have decided to see Charlotte again. Exactly three years have passed since we had last seen each other. We met on a Christmas trip to Cancun in 2002 while both studying as exchange students in Mexico, and since then I've sent her a card and called her every Christmas, so it's a real treat to be spending it with her in person. Knowing her was one of the pivotal reasons I decided to study in Germany, in fact. It's funny how contacts work throughout life. Out of all the exchange students I met in Mexico, I've only stayed in contact with a very small few, and here it will likely be very much the same, however, I've never been one to need a large group of friends. The main obstacle with many of my friendships is that they are scattered literally all over the globe. I used to sometimes joke that my MSN contact list looked more like a UN membership list.

Last Friday three other guys and I all went to Cologne to watch a soccer game. After playing tourist for a while we made it to the game and had fun, and then took a crowded and rowdy ride back to the trainstation, where we eventually caught a train to Koblenz, to make a connection back to Trier. Unfortunately, unforeseen by us, the connection didn't come for another 6 1/2 hours. As it was already the middle of the night and we had no desire to venture out into the freezing weather, we sat in the trainstation McDonalds for the duration of the nearly 7 hour wait. What sounds miserable and incredibly boring was actually very enjoyable, I thought, although I do not want to repeat it in the near future. It was good to get some stuff off our chests, and tell stories, and overall just to get to know each other better, although there's always the risk becoming comfortable enough to tell an embarassing story from one's youth, only to regret having opened up that box again. Maybe it was exhastion talking. But I still had a great time. I hope not to do it again soon.

What more to discuss about this week? I was looking over some of the comments that I've received at blogger. I don't ever receive email notifications from that website, unlike I do with Facebook, so I don't always know that I have received a message. But in anycase I was looking through the comments and saw I had received one from a fellow at a place called Media Movers Inc. and that he had responded to my comments about subtitling or dubbing movies. I was interested, and surprised, to see that I had received such a comment. Although my blog is on the web, and thus quite open to most of the world, I didn't think that people other than those who know me would bother to read the thoughts of a college student from a small town in the Heartland of America. It makes me wonder how it was found, and how small the world can be. In any case, it didn't anger me of course, it was kind of flattering, actually.

If I were home chances are good I'd have sent of Christmas cards by now. But I'm not at home, and have barely finished writing most of them, two days before Jesus turns 2006 yeas old (actually, I heard He was born in the spring, but who's counting? Tradition goes a long ways).
Fortunately, they are also New Years cards, so they still count! :-)

Well, I recognize this note is a bit shorter, but I am exhausted already. I spent another day in the Weihnachtsmarkt in Mannheim, and I need to get to bed now. I'm coming down with the cold again, no good since I'm with a friend again. So I'm going to sign off here. If I don't publish a note on Christmas, here it is: A Merry Christmas to all! If you don't follow the Christmas tradition for reasons of religion or other, Happy Holidays, all the same! Well wishing should always be welcome, I think. :-)

Yours truly,
Tristan

Another Note

Dear Constant Readers,

I can't ever think of titles for my notes, so they end up being something like "Another Note" or something not so creative like that. Half the time I have a foggy idea about what I'm going to say anymore, to be honest about it, so a title at the beginning doensn't make much sense, and I never feel like going back and changing it when I'm done, because I'm not sure it's important, and look, now here I'm rambling. Hoere ich jetzt sofort auf! (I'm stopping now!)

Nearly two weeks into December and not a single flake of snow has graced the city, or region as far as I know. Which is a bit disappointing in a way, because I had rather romantic nothings of seeing picturesque Germany covered in a foot of pristine white snow blown off the Alps and all that. Quite streets at night, holiday spirits glowing their invisible glow. All that jazz. When I asked people who either had been here or come from here, or knew something about it, they ususally said snow was something of a rariety in this region. I had never heard of a snowless Germany, so I decided that they probably didn't know what they were talking about to some degree, that certainly, maybe they were exaggerating the "warm" weather. Turns out I was wrong. Bummer.

Of course the weather is warm, everywhere though, not just Rheinland-Palatinate. I had no idea global warming was such a big deal until I wrote a paper on the subject for a PoliSci course last semester. I thought previously that global warming was an environmental concern blown out of proportion by pop-culture science and Captain Planet. Apparently I was wrong there, too. I don't know what to say about all that: it's bad, and I don't drive. And when I do drive, it's damn little, if I can help it. Usually I don't enjoy it (except for the last couple of weeks back in America I drove around the countryside listening to "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" audio book and taking in the scenery which I've come to love before leaving it for the year...and occasions like that to ponder).

Yesterday I was having a fairly decent day. Until a fellow from Spain started chatting with me over MSN telling me how globalization is screwing everything up, and how much we are to blame for it. I didn't have a real response for him, although I did think it a perhaps valuable experience to hear something like that. I don't know what to say about the anti-Americanism in the world. Yesterday a German told me there was plenty of it in Germany, and when I asked her why, she simply said "Too many reasons." How exactly does one make a statement like that and then simply give that as an answer? I will admit, though, that I likely wouldn't have had many responses for her reasons, had she named them. But perhaps responses wouldn't have been good. Generally I try to avoid such political types of conversations because the passion that the people feel, especially against America, makes me feel defensive, like it's almost personal :"You guys, you Americans, your government, your president" and so forth. I am not proud that America doesn't use its power more wisely, or care more for the environment. I'm trying to become more informed on the topics in the news so I can have a better opinion. I try to read the BBC and a few other papers (The Economist, International Hearld Tribune). It's not an easy habit to start for me, as I've said. But I'm developing the interest in it. But I don't think America is all bad either. It's too easy to see the bad of something.

I don't think globalization is a good or bad thing inherently. To say it is one or the other is rather limiting. I think it is simply the way things are, and at this point it's how that situation is handled that makes the difference. Definitely take moves to protect cultures, languages, traditions, and so on. But also barriers are disappearing.

Anyway, that brought my day down a bit. I went for a jog, so.

I am planning on taking an undetermined amount of time off from learning languages. I think I am pressing myself too hard. I was planning on doing this, anyway, after I had learned a few more. Currently I have enough materials at home to give me at least a solid foundation (and thanks to the internet and its radio and chat capabilities) most likely fluency as well in a fairly healthy number of languages. But I need to give it a break, give my mind and will a rest for a bit. Not a complete break, perhaps, but enough to chill out and work on some other things that are interesting to me. Maybe in my time off, I'll think of a more efficient, and self-friendly way to learn. Recently, though, as in the past year or so, I've become interested, or re-interested, in learning a few other skills. Drawing, painting, learning chess, and also maybe knitting/crochetting. I tried that latter last year and it didn't take off the way I hoped it would, but I still want to learn it, because I think it would be a fun and helpful skill to have. Also I am re-interested in learning my overall favorite instrument so far, the piano. I tried the saxophone once, but I can't stand it. Even when it's played well, I think it sounds bad. I am going to try to read more, more regular novels that have been populating my reading list. I also want to work more on my writing. I think dialogue is fascinating, but have a hard time writing it, as well as simply coming up with a plot for a story. I have a much easier time just rambling, like I'm doing now. This stuff comes natural to me, I don't even have to think about it half the time. I just hope it's still being well-received, I haven't heard from many people in a long time.

Even an age old interest in film-making is coming back, although mostly from a writer's perspective. I probably actually have Quentin Tarentino's films to thank for that. He's not my favorite director/film-maker, and his movies that I've seen aren't high on my list of favorites. But something about his style has charmed to want to write fast-paced dialogue. Juxtapose that with Terrence Malick, who did such celluloid poems as "Days of Heaven", "The Thin Red Line" and most recently "The New World" who has very little dialogue, but strongly incoroporates my other (even more) favorite aspect of film: the cinematography. That guy knows a camera like a geologist knows the heartbeat of a mountain. Painting with light.

In any case, I don't know if you wanted to know all that, and but there you do. In a roundabout way it's still talking about my experience here in Germany, although on an internal level, in my own self. But like I've said before, this what I'm writing could be from anywhere, not from Germany.

Regarding my time off from languages: That obviously doesn't apply to German, since I'm here. At the moment I want to focus on it as deeply as I can, but I need to collect myelf a bit in general with the other things I mentioned. I am not leaving languages, and I am saying that more to myself than to you, because one thing that bothers me is will I lose my interest in it, or find something else? I can't imagine that, but it's possible. I don't want to lose my interest in it, but if I don't do this, I might lose my interest and kill all the fun, but turning it into something I stress over rather than enjoy.

Traveling: Last weekend I was in Europa-Park, located in the Black Forest. The forest was beautiful, the amusment park left much to be desired. I spent the majority of the day with to Chilean exchange students, giving German a rest and brushing up on the Spanish instead. The two largest rollercoasters were closed for our tropical winter, but regarding one, I didn't miss it, because you splashed for that one, and I don't like getting wet. I made it back in time for a Christmas party on our floor, which was great fun. Compared to American dorms, the social level is much lower, but despite that there is a general feeling of community when we do those types of get-togethers.

This Friday I'll finally be off to Cologne for a soccer game with an American and two Englishmen. It'll be a one day trip for a soccergame, but I have no idea who's playing. I consider myself a sports agnostic, in that I believe in the possibility it can be fun and exciting, but haven't seen any tangible proof yet. I go jogging, some swimming, do enjoy hockey (the one game I've been to) and enjoy intramurals because they aren't taken seriously, but that's about as far as it goes.

So that's what's new in my life. And that's about all I have to say for now, so I'll call it a night here.

I hope this note finds you well! Keep up the work, break is almost here. The next time I write you, chances are I'll be spending the holidays with a friend of mine and her family here. I hope you all have a fun and relaxing Christmas or Holiday season planned.

Sincerely,
Tristan

More news from Germany

Dear Constant Readers,

I've looked back over the notes I've written so far, and I've seen that they've become a bit shorter than they were when I first started out. Maybe that makes them easier to read; for myself it's sometimes hard to keep up on blogs or things like that.

Sometimes I get frustrated that there are things that I want to do, and I *should* have the time to do it, because I am not as busy as I would be were I taking classes in America, but for whatever reason I don't get it done. Lack of time, lack of motivation, or perhaps just poor management of time itself, which is the probably the most likely. There are lots of things I feel I need to do: read the paper, get my class schedule worked out so I have an idea of what I can or should take next semester, answer emails, do various (although somewhat rare) homeworks, and so forth. I spend a lot of my time with other people though, or most of it on campus, which is in itself social. I've just started reading the online papers, for example, for the sake of being informed. But it's a hard habit to get into for me, and when they are online, I get distracted by other things online, like email or whatever. Maybe I should just read the regular papers, but I never did like them...so are so cumbersome to use, I think. Minor complaint, but something that bugs me nonetheless.

I also feel stuck with my major. I'm a Global Studies major, but I don't know if it's for me anymore. I want to study other things, or at least take classes in other things, like learning to draw, for example. But I feel like a bit of a prisoner to my major, meaning I feel obliged to get those classes out of the way. It doesn't help that the German classes, or lectures, I should say, are very dull. Next semester I'm going to stay away from them if I can. I'm not even taking that many, but I still haven't enjoyed it. Perhaps I would more, if I had more of a background in Political Science. I have considered maybe changing my major, but I don't know if that would be a wise move at this point. For the first time I wondered if maybe coming here for a year was a wise decision, because I feel like it is limiting me class-wise. I just feel overwhelmed and don't know if I can graduate on time. And I don't even know what kind of doors Global Studies (and German) will open for me. I thought I would enjoy the GS degree, but now I'm not so sure. When I think of people with English degrees, or something like that, it sounds more fun, and I wish I had known more about it way back when.

A nice way to think of it though, maybe I just have too many interests. :-) I do know that life after school is something that scares me when I think about it though. I suppose I'll be ready, but it's hard to imagine right now when I'm still trying to juggle a simple class schedule.

I had had plans to go to Switzerland for Christmas with three other American friends. But recently a friend of mine from Germany invited me to spend the holidays with her family. She and I met when we were both exchange students in Mexico three years ago, and we haven't seen each other since. So I am looking forward to that, now.

Last weekend I went to Luxembourg with Dylon to watch 'Casino Royale' a second time. Why Luxembourg? Because they are good enough to subtitle their imported films while maintaining the original language. In Germany it is either dubbed, or in English with no subtitles (the latter, I don't mind either), but good luck finding the English versions. Due to my past love affair with films (for a few years it was my dream to be a film maker) and my love now of languages, I'm somthing of a purist when it comes to movies. In other words, dubbing a movie should be a penal offence, I think. :-P Unless it's done as a joke. They can be well done, I admit, but it's not quite right. It's the difference I think between looking at a painting, and looking at a reproduced copy of it in a book.

The next day I went to Heidelberg with two friends from Italy. Again, it was a nice trip, although the trainride was forever long. We saw the Christmas Market there and played tourist all afternoon.

The weekend before that I was in Mainz, as I wrote about. And this coming weekend I'm going to the Black Forest. But really I think I want a weekend to sit on my bum, or at least get my room cleaned and this class schedule worked out (see, I mentioned it again! It's like a rock in my shoe). In a way it feels like there is simply a lot of running around. For example, my favorite bag, the brown shoulder one I have, has a mortal wound, a rip in it where the strap connects, which makes it rather tricky to fix. I went to a past that sold thread to see if they could help me. They directed me to a camping store. I went to that camping store and thy said no, I'd have to go to a place where shoes are fixed.

It amazes me a bit how quickly things can be done...but the hardest and most time consuming part is getting the motivation to actually care it out.

I am sure things will work out fine, as they usually do. But it's hard to keep the faith sometimes when this world thinks it needs to move as fast as it does. I disagree, but do I still have to play? Or am I just being a bit idealistic, and it really does have to go that fast?

Hope everyone is doing well as this first semester (for you, mine doesn't end til February) winds down. Keep your wits about you. :-)

Tristan