And Today's Word Is "Animal"
A couple of nights ago I was attacked by my light switch.
Perhaps I should explain.
For a couple of months now I've just left my windows open since it's warm and I like the fresh air. I also get too hot if I sleep with the windows closed. Generally this doesn't create any problems, aside a breeze occasionally slamming my window shut.
I had just gone to bed and dozed off. Not much later, perhaps even thirty minutes before I had properly fallen asleep, I opened my eyes and in saw, clinging to my wall right above my bed, a bat. I had seen bats flying around in the park while I go jogging, and am quite fond of them, but I naturally I don't want one in my room.
It didn't look like a bat, though. In the darkness my unfocused and dry eyes saw just a misshapen blob that may or may not have been moving slowly among my wall. So, I started blowing at it to make it fly away. This achieved no reaction so I blew harder. Finally I looked for something to poke it with to make it go away but didn't have anything in reach. So I decided to give it a quick poke with my finger, hoping I would still have the eliminate of surprise, despite blowing on it.
I poked my light switch. Ah yes, I only use it every night. Right where I left it.
I felt a bit foolish, but no one was around to look at me wake up, start blowing at my light switch from a foot and a half away, and then gingerly poke it like it was some kind of small firecracker that hadn't quite decided if it would explode.
I suppose, though, that you could make the argument that I was attacking my light switch, instead of vice versa. Or at least aggravating it.
Fortunately, that's been the only attacking that's been going on in my life, although a couple of weeks ago I did catch a hedgehog. It was crawling under a bush when I found it and pulled it out to get a closer look at it, since I have almost never seen one. I'm sure the poor beast did not share in my curiosity; it was obligingly stock-still while I looked at it and gave it a pat on its spiny back, but this was probably less out of a spirit of cooperation and more out of a spirit of utter mortal horror. I put it back though we both went our separate ways.
I also saw a grey snake in the wild while visiting a castle with some friends. I quickly found out I was the only one in my group who doesn't mind snakes. This one was grey and strangely thick and a bit ugly. I would have examined it more closely, too, had I been more familiar with venomous and non-venomous snakes in the area.
Later on in a class I mentioned my encounter and my students indeed new what I was talking about. They said it actually wasn't a snake but merely a legless lizard (in the USA we have something similar called a glass lizard) and they said it was called a "blind lizard" despite the fact it's neither blind, nor looks much like a lizard. (As a note, afterwards did some more digging on the internet and I think the proper English name is "slow worm" as this is the animal that resembles what I saw). I don't know how slow it was, but it didn't make any more to crawl away from me when I looked at it. It at least didn't seem to have a problem with me.
However, later that same day I cam across a swan, which, like tornadoes, are quite beautiful to behold if you see them from a distance. This particular swan was paddling alone next to the side of a small lake. Despite their zen-like appearance, swans are not an animal with whom to fool, as they take crap from no one. That said, in the past, they have at least always reacted well to bread and chips, but on this day I didn't have any bread to throw to it. Instead, I had a tačinky, a kind of Czech snack-stick, like a pretzel. I decided to share and tossed it into the water near the giant dinosaur bird. Instead of floating up to the snack and eating it up, the swan looked at it and then snubbed it, stepped out of the water and flexed its wings at me. It then walked right up to me until it was about two feet away and started hissing with its beady black souless eyes fixing me in a death stare, displaying its show of territory.
It was actually kind of cute, really. But the fact is any bird that has a wingspan as large as my arms I'll not contest. For as graceful and as beautiful as swans are, they have such seemingly foul attitudes.
Hopefully this summer I can round off my animal count by making it to the Prague zoo, which is reputed to be quite good. I've never been much of a zoo person, not for any moral reason of seeing animals in captivity (I think in some cases zoos are good things), but I've just never had a hankering towards them. But like most people, I enjoy seeing exotic animals, especially reptiles, and so I'm planning on going before too long. After all, I am fond of animals, even, as we've seen, they might not always be fond of me.
Best to everyone,
Tristan
Perhaps I should explain.
For a couple of months now I've just left my windows open since it's warm and I like the fresh air. I also get too hot if I sleep with the windows closed. Generally this doesn't create any problems, aside a breeze occasionally slamming my window shut.
I had just gone to bed and dozed off. Not much later, perhaps even thirty minutes before I had properly fallen asleep, I opened my eyes and in saw, clinging to my wall right above my bed, a bat. I had seen bats flying around in the park while I go jogging, and am quite fond of them, but I naturally I don't want one in my room.
It didn't look like a bat, though. In the darkness my unfocused and dry eyes saw just a misshapen blob that may or may not have been moving slowly among my wall. So, I started blowing at it to make it fly away. This achieved no reaction so I blew harder. Finally I looked for something to poke it with to make it go away but didn't have anything in reach. So I decided to give it a quick poke with my finger, hoping I would still have the eliminate of surprise, despite blowing on it.
I poked my light switch. Ah yes, I only use it every night. Right where I left it.
I felt a bit foolish, but no one was around to look at me wake up, start blowing at my light switch from a foot and a half away, and then gingerly poke it like it was some kind of small firecracker that hadn't quite decided if it would explode.
I suppose, though, that you could make the argument that I was attacking my light switch, instead of vice versa. Or at least aggravating it.
Fortunately, that's been the only attacking that's been going on in my life, although a couple of weeks ago I did catch a hedgehog. It was crawling under a bush when I found it and pulled it out to get a closer look at it, since I have almost never seen one. I'm sure the poor beast did not share in my curiosity; it was obligingly stock-still while I looked at it and gave it a pat on its spiny back, but this was probably less out of a spirit of cooperation and more out of a spirit of utter mortal horror. I put it back though we both went our separate ways.
I also saw a grey snake in the wild while visiting a castle with some friends. I quickly found out I was the only one in my group who doesn't mind snakes. This one was grey and strangely thick and a bit ugly. I would have examined it more closely, too, had I been more familiar with venomous and non-venomous snakes in the area.
Later on in a class I mentioned my encounter and my students indeed new what I was talking about. They said it actually wasn't a snake but merely a legless lizard (in the USA we have something similar called a glass lizard) and they said it was called a "blind lizard" despite the fact it's neither blind, nor looks much like a lizard. (As a note, afterwards did some more digging on the internet and I think the proper English name is "slow worm" as this is the animal that resembles what I saw). I don't know how slow it was, but it didn't make any more to crawl away from me when I looked at it. It at least didn't seem to have a problem with me.
However, later that same day I cam across a swan, which, like tornadoes, are quite beautiful to behold if you see them from a distance. This particular swan was paddling alone next to the side of a small lake. Despite their zen-like appearance, swans are not an animal with whom to fool, as they take crap from no one. That said, in the past, they have at least always reacted well to bread and chips, but on this day I didn't have any bread to throw to it. Instead, I had a tačinky, a kind of Czech snack-stick, like a pretzel. I decided to share and tossed it into the water near the giant dinosaur bird. Instead of floating up to the snack and eating it up, the swan looked at it and then snubbed it, stepped out of the water and flexed its wings at me. It then walked right up to me until it was about two feet away and started hissing with its beady black souless eyes fixing me in a death stare, displaying its show of territory.
It was actually kind of cute, really. But the fact is any bird that has a wingspan as large as my arms I'll not contest. For as graceful and as beautiful as swans are, they have such seemingly foul attitudes.
Hopefully this summer I can round off my animal count by making it to the Prague zoo, which is reputed to be quite good. I've never been much of a zoo person, not for any moral reason of seeing animals in captivity (I think in some cases zoos are good things), but I've just never had a hankering towards them. But like most people, I enjoy seeing exotic animals, especially reptiles, and so I'm planning on going before too long. After all, I am fond of animals, even, as we've seen, they might not always be fond of me.
Best to everyone,
Tristan
posted by Tristan | 1:42 PM
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