What New Adventures Do You Hold?
Dear Readers,
Today I woke up feeling out of sorts and unsure why, and in these moods I tend to write best, so that, combined with me meaning to write anyways, it was a perfect storm of conditions.
A new year is upon us and I wonder, like many people probably do, what this next year will hold. The Christmas season is one I like, but within me I feel a feeling of loneliness too. Most of the time it's fine, but there have been episodes of heartbreak, weather-related depression and cabin-fever, and of course loneliness due to being away from home so often during this time of year. Mexico, Germany, Peru, and now the Czech Republic.
I can't say how long I'll want to travel and work around. I would like to do it for a while longer, a few years, but I don't know really. Some people do this and then decide they need to get a normal job. But after hearing that I wondered that a "normal job" is. I felt a little confused for this person, and wondered if that's where they felt they needed to direct their life, to whatever a normal job is. Is the criteria 9-5 with benefits and a salary? There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but I also don't think people need to take a job like that simply because they feel it's what you have to do to live life.
Who knows. I haven't even figured out what I want to do yet. Perhaps I'll go into a job like that next. I don't know how long I would stay. A year? Ten years? How long to people stay in a position before they move on anyways?
I wondered recently though when traveling stops becoming an adventure and becomes an existence of a lost soul. I think some expats are simply drifters, not ever finding their place in the world. This is different from someone who wanders around like a bee, seeking experiences and knowledge everywhere, but the distinguishment can be hard to see from the outside. By staying in once place, a person can easily lose track of what they want to do and become stuck in a rut. But by traveling around a person can just be a drifter, not really figuring things out either. If any of that is to be avoided, I think the individual must simply know themselves and have the courage to understand to their own inner notions and compass. And as was pointed out to me: everyone is at a different place, so comparing with others' paths is dangerous and probably misleading, as clichéd as that might sound.
So of course I also wonder what more I will learn this year. Czech is a given. I've already started learning it here, and it feels good to get back in the saddle of learning another language.
I'm also chronically single and it bothers me a lot. In all my life I've hardly ever been in anything that could be called a stable relationship because they have often been short-lived since it was while studying or living abroad right before I was getting ready to leave. Everything else has simply been a confused "Is this dating, or what?" grey area. It bothers me to not really know what a relationship feels like. I'm glad I'm not married yet, and I'm glad that I've had this single time to go and see the world. Hopefully I'll find someone who shares that interest and would like to continue traveling too. I would go so far as to say that's almost a requirement (although my list has become ever shorter over the years). But when I see people together or talking about relationships, for the most part I just feel an emptiness and wonder what the devil I'm doing wrong.
Maybe this blog is an indicator. Maybe I'm too open. Lord knows I've tried to learn how to be more discreet and I think I have learned, but at heart I'm an open person in general and I don't know if that's something that can really be changed about me. I'm sure it can, but then I wonder, do I want to change that? Is it not better to have people who are honest and open? Many people have told me that they like that I'm open, and I sense that's how I'm supposed to be. Naturally this should be balanced by being open with not everyone one comes across.
But who knows what developments there will be this year.
Now, as I did last year, I'm going to post all the books I read in the past 12 months. Only a measly 28 books this year. The (*) denotes books that were the ones I enjoyed the most. (CZ) means they were read here in the Czech Republic, but NOT in Czech. Siddhartha was read in English while simultaneously listening to it in German.
1. Alchemist, The by Paulo Cohelo (November 2011) (CZ)*
2. American Gods by Neil Gaiman (September 2011)
3. Awakening to the Natural State by John Wheeler (2011)*
This was perhaps the best contemporary book on meditation and non-duality that I've ever read.
4. Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality by Anthony de Mello (2011)*
5. Culture Shock: Czech Republic by Tim Nollen (December 2011) (CZ)
6. Danny: Champion of the World by Roald Dahl (August 2011)
7. Dead Zone, The by Stephen King (February 2011)
8. Executive Orders, by Tom Clancy (2011)
9. Freedom by Jonathan Franzen (Aug 2011)
One of my best friends, recommended this book to me. I found it to be completely forgettable though, evidenced by the fact I forgot all about it until I copied this list onto here.
10. The Heart of Awareness, The: A Translation of the Ashtavakra Gita by Thomas Byrom (2011)*
A beautiful poem full of wisdom about Advaita (non-duality). A short little read.
11. It by Stephen King (November 2011) (CZ)
12. Long Walk, The by Stephen King (2011)
13. Matilda by Roald Dahl (August 2011)
14. Origin of Satan, The by Elaine Pagels (2011)
Unfortunately, much drier than I had hoped. I want to read more about that topic, though.
15. Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton, 2011)
16. The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary by Simon Winchester (2011)*
17. Rage by Stephen King (2011)*
18. Raptor by Gary Jennings (2011)*
19. Roadwork by Stephen King (2011)
20. Skeleton Crew by Stephen King (2011)
21. Siddhartha by Herman Hesse (2011)
22. Tommyknockers, The by Stephen King (October 2011) (CZ)
23. Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, by Gordon Livingston (2011)*
24. True Meditation by Adyashanti (2011)*
25. What Every BODY Is Saying by Joe Navarro (November 2011) (CZ)*
Very awesome book about body language. I need to re-read it now.
26. Witches, The by Roald Dahl (August 2011)
27. Without Remorse by Tom Clancy (2011)
28. You Can Read Anyone by David Lieberman (2011)
Similar to no. 25, but not nearly as interesting.
And that's it! I'd love to read any comments or questions you may have. I hope this coming year is a good one!
Tristan
Today I woke up feeling out of sorts and unsure why, and in these moods I tend to write best, so that, combined with me meaning to write anyways, it was a perfect storm of conditions.
A new year is upon us and I wonder, like many people probably do, what this next year will hold. The Christmas season is one I like, but within me I feel a feeling of loneliness too. Most of the time it's fine, but there have been episodes of heartbreak, weather-related depression and cabin-fever, and of course loneliness due to being away from home so often during this time of year. Mexico, Germany, Peru, and now the Czech Republic.
I can't say how long I'll want to travel and work around. I would like to do it for a while longer, a few years, but I don't know really. Some people do this and then decide they need to get a normal job. But after hearing that I wondered that a "normal job" is. I felt a little confused for this person, and wondered if that's where they felt they needed to direct their life, to whatever a normal job is. Is the criteria 9-5 with benefits and a salary? There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but I also don't think people need to take a job like that simply because they feel it's what you have to do to live life.
Who knows. I haven't even figured out what I want to do yet. Perhaps I'll go into a job like that next. I don't know how long I would stay. A year? Ten years? How long to people stay in a position before they move on anyways?
I wondered recently though when traveling stops becoming an adventure and becomes an existence of a lost soul. I think some expats are simply drifters, not ever finding their place in the world. This is different from someone who wanders around like a bee, seeking experiences and knowledge everywhere, but the distinguishment can be hard to see from the outside. By staying in once place, a person can easily lose track of what they want to do and become stuck in a rut. But by traveling around a person can just be a drifter, not really figuring things out either. If any of that is to be avoided, I think the individual must simply know themselves and have the courage to understand to their own inner notions and compass. And as was pointed out to me: everyone is at a different place, so comparing with others' paths is dangerous and probably misleading, as clichéd as that might sound.
So of course I also wonder what more I will learn this year. Czech is a given. I've already started learning it here, and it feels good to get back in the saddle of learning another language.
I'm also chronically single and it bothers me a lot. In all my life I've hardly ever been in anything that could be called a stable relationship because they have often been short-lived since it was while studying or living abroad right before I was getting ready to leave. Everything else has simply been a confused "Is this dating, or what?" grey area. It bothers me to not really know what a relationship feels like. I'm glad I'm not married yet, and I'm glad that I've had this single time to go and see the world. Hopefully I'll find someone who shares that interest and would like to continue traveling too. I would go so far as to say that's almost a requirement (although my list has become ever shorter over the years). But when I see people together or talking about relationships, for the most part I just feel an emptiness and wonder what the devil I'm doing wrong.
Maybe this blog is an indicator. Maybe I'm too open. Lord knows I've tried to learn how to be more discreet and I think I have learned, but at heart I'm an open person in general and I don't know if that's something that can really be changed about me. I'm sure it can, but then I wonder, do I want to change that? Is it not better to have people who are honest and open? Many people have told me that they like that I'm open, and I sense that's how I'm supposed to be. Naturally this should be balanced by being open with not everyone one comes across.
But who knows what developments there will be this year.
Now, as I did last year, I'm going to post all the books I read in the past 12 months. Only a measly 28 books this year. The (*) denotes books that were the ones I enjoyed the most. (CZ) means they were read here in the Czech Republic, but NOT in Czech. Siddhartha was read in English while simultaneously listening to it in German.
1. Alchemist, The by Paulo Cohelo (November 2011) (CZ)*
2. American Gods by Neil Gaiman (September 2011)
3. Awakening to the Natural State by John Wheeler (2011)*
This was perhaps the best contemporary book on meditation and non-duality that I've ever read.
4. Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality by Anthony de Mello (2011)*
5. Culture Shock: Czech Republic by Tim Nollen (December 2011) (CZ)
6. Danny: Champion of the World by Roald Dahl (August 2011)
7. Dead Zone, The by Stephen King (February 2011)
8. Executive Orders, by Tom Clancy (2011)
9. Freedom by Jonathan Franzen (Aug 2011)
One of my best friends, recommended this book to me. I found it to be completely forgettable though, evidenced by the fact I forgot all about it until I copied this list onto here.
10. The Heart of Awareness, The: A Translation of the Ashtavakra Gita by Thomas Byrom (2011)*
A beautiful poem full of wisdom about Advaita (non-duality). A short little read.
11. It by Stephen King (November 2011) (CZ)
12. Long Walk, The by Stephen King (2011)
13. Matilda by Roald Dahl (August 2011)
14. Origin of Satan, The by Elaine Pagels (2011)
Unfortunately, much drier than I had hoped. I want to read more about that topic, though.
15. Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton, 2011)
16. The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary by Simon Winchester (2011)*
17. Rage by Stephen King (2011)*
18. Raptor by Gary Jennings (2011)*
19. Roadwork by Stephen King (2011)
20. Skeleton Crew by Stephen King (2011)
21. Siddhartha by Herman Hesse (2011)
22. Tommyknockers, The by Stephen King (October 2011) (CZ)
23. Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, by Gordon Livingston (2011)*
24. True Meditation by Adyashanti (2011)*
25. What Every BODY Is Saying by Joe Navarro (November 2011) (CZ)*
Very awesome book about body language. I need to re-read it now.
26. Witches, The by Roald Dahl (August 2011)
27. Without Remorse by Tom Clancy (2011)
28. You Can Read Anyone by David Lieberman (2011)
Similar to no. 25, but not nearly as interesting.
And that's it! I'd love to read any comments or questions you may have. I hope this coming year is a good one!
Tristan
posted by Tristan | 2:09 PM
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2 comments
