Out of the Mirror and Through a Window

Dear Constant Readers,

We see people so often we take them for granted and forget they are there, and that they don't see things the same way we do, sort of in the way perhaps we see our pets and forget they aren't actually human, but another species entirely. We just grow so accustomed to what's around us we fail to see the wood for the trees.

There was a wonderful and beautiful quote I read from an author I don't particularly like. I'm paraphrasing, but it goes something like this: How do you know what is happening to you is bad? I guess this mostly applies when people are having bad days, but the point remains: if you are going through a trial, how can you know for sure it's actually bad? We don't have foresight, we can't see what will result as a cause of this. You can take the inverse, as well, but actually I have an optimistic outlook because in my experience, things always seem to work out, and the world is built more soundly than lots of people give it credit for.

What does this have to do with my first point about people around us? This...Each one of us is completely and individual, different from everyone else. You've probably been told that since you were a child: "It's OK to be yourself." But stop and think about it for a second. Think how incredibly complex each person is.

I know that I have lived through trials and pain in my life. This of course doesn't make me unique from you, but as I have been thinking about it, this has been a journey of mine, an adventure of sorts. I don't mean to say that I enjoy pain and difficulty, or that I look forward to it, but I do enjoy learning and I enjoy challenges. But perhaps more often in life, you don't choose what will challenge you, and when that is the case, when I have the right attitude, I do look with a healthy curiosity at how I will accept and handle the challenge, and how it will help me more deeply become who I am.

I used to think that you needed to go seek another part of the world to have an adventure, but you don't. You can find challenges within yourself. Personally, I need the adventure in the world. That's why I've globe trotted, why I've lived in France, Mexico, Germany, the US, and to a lesser extent, Denmark.

Each person is a breathing archive of events, a sum of their environments but even more than that, because it is their spin on that environment. We may share the same world, but see it with our own souls.

Still, even I forget this and become selfish sometimes. I think the world revolves around me and that you are all wallpaper. It's easy for us it slip into this mode.

I'm not saying in the scheme of things we are all so small we don't really matter. I'm saying we are all priceless masterpieces, and it is the so-called "flaws" and challenges that help makes us so.

Hope all is well.
Tristan

A Road in a Misty Forest

Dear Constant Readers,

Who can say what the future holds? With one semester left, what I will be doing with my life is something that...how to say this...I've been paying more attention to. I haven't been worrying about it endlessly, but I'm not quite at peace with it. But I think in such a situation, you should be. I have been making some preparations, but I don't see the need to tie up in knots. I guess one of the most important things I have learned, and I'm sure I've said it before, is that life works out if you let it. You can't predict it. It's the like expressions go: "Put your faith in God, and keep your ammo dry," or "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition." In other words, prepare for what you can, but trust always that things will be OK. Because they will be.

But what kind of plans have I been making? Well, I'm applying for Peace Corps, so I hope that works out. It's temporary, of course, but I'm hoping it will give me some time to figure things out a bit. Eventually I'd like to go onto graduate school but I don't know what I'd like to pursue there. I've considered archeology, but I'm not sure it actually sounds like the life for me. I've spoken to a few people about it, and some of it sounds interesting, but ultimately I'm not sure it's really the life I want to lead. When I listen to my heart, I think I really just want to do something more intensely with languages. I don't know what, though.

I'm considering again being a translator, if only for a few years. I guess I just need to plan out the next five years or so anyway. Take it in more manageable bites. I suppose if I could find a job where I could travel around and learn people's languages, I would be set. If you know of such a job, drop me a comment please! That's not a joke.

I've also considered going to other countries for a stretch, especially Japan since I've had a curiosity about that place for many years now, and teaching English.

Jobs that I have considered (and rejected) at other points in my life: Being a bear. That was brief, I've never been really fascinated by bears, but my parents said I could be anything I wanted to be. Being a garbage truck driver (as a little kid, I was totally fascinated by the colors of garbage, the smell of garbage and diesel, and wondering what secret world was in the back of that huge truck with the enormous crushing jaws), firefighter, police care or ambulance driver (flashing lights, man!), or being an archaeologist. I have Indiana Jones to thank for that. It was my Coptic language class in Germany that reignited my age-old interest, but again, that's the language passion going on.

For a long time I wanted to be a movie maker. Originally I wanted to be the guy who designed the explosions for movies. Back in the days when they used more models and optical effects. I loved behind-the-scenes shows, like Movie Magic, and Hollywood's Greatest Stunts. Nowadays I prefer not to have the magic ruined for me, for example with scenes where the special effects are so thorough you don't even notice them, like how some of the dining rooms in "Titanic" were just computer images of miniatures. But I still find it beautiful...how everything comes together for a picture. I miss those old effects, computers are good, but sometimes it's so sleek it still looks cartoon-ish. I guess in a way I prefer the look of the old "Star Wars" to the new ones that tell the back story. That's the best way I can explain it.

And then I wanted to be a cinematographer, the guy who works the cameras in the movies. Maybe even the director of cinematography. In all honesty, this is by far one of my top favorite arts, and something I pay attention to more than anything else in a movie. I like angles and sweeps and rich colors, the feel the camera makes. Like the way "Fargo" looked so cold and impressive (especially well-done for a low budget movie, that was the first thing I noticed). Or how "Saving Private Ryan" and "Schindler's List" had an in-your-face gritty real look to them. Or how in "Das Boot" you really feel claustrophobic inside the tiny walls of the submarine hundreds of feet under the cold dark Atlantic with explosions rattling you.

Finally, I just decided I wanted complete control and wanted to be a director. And this is a passion I followed until I discovered languages from my auntie. And after that, well, I've traveled a good chunk of the world so far, and had great and trying experiences, and so forth. I wanted to be an interpreter for the United Nations. And I maintained that until I realized I wanted more adventure than just sitting in a booth translating other people's words.

Unfortunately, that was the last thing I really thought I wanted to be. Ever since then, I've been wandering quite a bit. I thought about being an anthropologist, or a writer for National Geographic. Even a professor of linguistics. But nothing has really come close like those earlier ideas did. I miss the simplicity of it. I have a dream, but somehow it still seems foggy (oddly, also like a dream!) I know I don't need to figure out the rest of my life yet, but I think it's human to wonder at least. What is my dream job? It involves languages, extended travel, living among cultures, getting down and dirty with them, so to speak, rather than watching them from an embassy window. I hope to be quite financially successful, but I wouldn't show it off, I just want to know I'm comfortable. I don't want that to be just the deciding factor, though. I want to spend lots of time outdoors, out in the field, in the forest, in the mountains. My dream job would involve adventure. Where is it?

Well, I guess I've spoken my piece for now. Hope 2008 is going well so far!

Oh, and I probably wanted to be a storm chaser, too. I've lived damn near most of my life in Nebraska, and have never, not once, ever seen a real, live tornado on the ground. I'm kind of disappointed by that fact, actually (as long as it's away from a populated area, of course!)

Tristan