From Out of Winter

Dear Constant Readers,

First, a merry Christmas to everyone. For me the semester is over and I am at home with my family for the time being, resting up for my last semester in college.

As is self-evident from the notes I've written, this last semester hasn't been terribly easy for me. In fact it has been one of the most trying periods so far in my life.

And so it goes. Life can be a difficult from time to time. When things get hard, it is difficult to believe that life will ever get better, and when you are in misery, it's easy to forget about happier times.

But they do get better. Life is beautiful, and for all the pain there is in the world, life is a path of exploration, and full of healing power. Like the world itself, storms will pass, the sun will rise, and winter will thaw to a new beginning.

And like the world has a large population, so it is in life that we aren't alone in either good times or challenging times.

To me it a small wonder that Christmas comes at the time when it does. For many, if not most people who celebrate Christmas, it comes in the darkest, coldest time of the year, the winter solstice (ironically, not the middle of winter, in the strictest sense of the meaning, but the beginning). Apparently Christ was actually born in the springtime, but traditionally it is celebrated in December, and either if it was intentional or accidental, it strikes me as completely appropriate one of the most important times for millions of people comes at a time when the world is seemingly forgotten and alone.

I see theological meaning in this, as well, with people going through the darkness of Advent before being saved by the light of Jesus' birth, but even from a non-religious point of view, I still find this parallel interesting.

Misery does not last, although sometimes we think it does, because pain leaves such a deep impression. From a personal standpoint, I've had to recognize some problems I have and seek help to heal, and for those of you who have listened to me try to sort my life out, I thank you. Thankfully, I am on the road of healing now. It won't be an easy road, but life isn't easy. Life is supposed to be challenging, but it isn't supposed to be a misery. That is the difference. There is always hope, and there is always an improvement and healing coming. If you chop down a forest to build a road, that road's ditch and openness might be providing the necessary conditions for a plant to grow that previously could not.

So anyway, those are my thoughts for now. I plan on spending the rest of break in a fairly relaxed manner, because I know I have a busy semester coming up.

Hope all is well.

Tristan

To Tip the Scales

Dear Constant Readers,

I thought that since my last few entries have been kind of heavy, I would tip the scales a bit and write some more cheerful things. I have a bit of anxiety about what the future holds, but it is a silly thing to get anxious about, I think. What if the future is an illusion? i.e. we put things off till tomorrow and yet tomorrow never really comes.

The idea of what I will do when I'm done with college is a bit of a daunting concept, but I'm not done with college yet. I've got a lot to do before that time. People say it goes fast...but it won't go any faster that time has gone for the past eternity. It's a matter of perception. Is it good when we say how fast time flies? I'm not sure, but I hear it a lot. I don't think it should really matter though, because we are in it for the long haul, and I think it's more important to work with what we can rather than be worried about a one (or a few) of a million possibilities that can be influenced by nearly anything. It is so out of our power it makes worrying about it seem kind of ridiculous. We prepare for what we can, and hope for the best. There's only so much we can do.

I have some goals this week, and I thought I'd share them. One of them was to write in my blog, so I'm doing that. :-D

I am going to get my German and Shakespeare papers done this week! (I kind of have to.) Finally after a semester of worrying about them and procrastinating (see above). I got the research done, now I just need to write them. Dr. Cognard, the Shakespeare professor, actually gave us another week today (till the 21st) but I'm still going to try to have it done by Friday.

For the first time I'm going to be getting that scary thing called a resume done. I've already begun it, and by Thursday I'm hoping to have it done. It is also necessary now because it means

I'm going to finally finish my Peace Corps application hopefully by Friday. I'm putting a lot of weight on this, which is perhaps not a good idea. I've looked into some other possibilities for work, but I'm banking on this one the most. It's kind of a scary thought, but I think I'll like it. I'm looking forward to the adventure in it, namely.

I want to get more photos put up. I still have photos from Germany (and now from America), and no, I have not forgotten them, but it takes a lot of time for me to put them up and put comments to them, and since college has begun I haven't done it or even really wanted to bother with it frankly. But I promise (to those who want to see them) I will get them up sometime soon. I see it glaring at me from my to-do list everyday.

Those are the biggies. I would like to see some movies that have been sitting on my list for a long time to watch, but I just haven't gotten around to it at all. I also have plenty of books I want to read. I'm on book five of "The Chronicles of Narnia," "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader." I began them over Thanksgiving break, so I'm making some good headway in them.

I can't think of what else I was going to say, so that'll be it for now.

I wanted to thank everyone who responded to my last entry...I wasn't really expecting so many replies, and it was really touching. Thanks! :-)

Hope all is well!

Tristan