And the nominees are in
Dear Constant Readers,
I'm writing to you now late on a Thursday night. Ideally, I would like to write earlier in the week, but the time on Tuesdays, when I normally write, is nill anymore. And really, I'm quite tired at the moment, but I still feel that it is important to write and be consistant. In my personal diary it's become harder. I try to be consistant, but I don't write every day in it, and sometimes that makes me feel a bit like I'm shirking my duties. After the years of writing in it, it has become a bit of a habit and I can't really imagine not writing in it anymore. If you don't keep a diary, or a journal, or whatever you want to call it, it might be a good idea to start. It's probably not for everyone, but I don't regret starting mine; I actually wish I had begun sooner.
Anyway, about this week. There was one thing that I wanted to write about in my last entry that slipped my mind. While helping Katrin cook a meal, I accidently broke a bowl and a cup that fell out of my cupboard as I was reaching for a pan. The glass cereal bowl almost vaporized, considering it fell only a foot or so. That didn't bother me very much. I just swept up all the glass I could with our pitiful sorry excuse for a broom.
The mug, however, did bother me. I was fond of that cup. I had found it here left behind from another student gone by, so I more or less inherited it, in the same way I'm leaving my pots and pans here for the next student. For being just a dish, I got kind of attached to it. It was a yellow, bowl-shaped cup with a smiley face on one side. On a couple of occasions some of the other students here would laugh at it because it did look kinda cute. I was hoping it would last me through out the year. It didn't really break that much, but it broke in half, effectively retiring it from service. I didn't see the point in trying to glue it, I figured the glue would just melt anyway after repeated tea drinkings. It's not the first time I've broken a cup; once in Mexico I was watching a movie and accidently rolled over my drinking glass with the leg of a rocking chair, and although I laughed a bit about the broken dishes (what really does one do? It's a minor thing, just get new ones) I was a little bit hurt at the loss of this cup. Maybe it was the smiley face on it. And then it made me wonder why I felt so attached to it. I wonder if it is an unhealthy thing, or if there is some natural reason why we personify possesions sometimes. When I threw it away, I felt a bit like a traitor, like I was petting a dog that I knew I would have to put down, yet the dog still had no clue. I doubt the mug really cared, but somehow I did.
This week hasn't been to rough, although it's gotten quite frigid. Apparently snow is right around the corner, but on the weather forcast it keeps getting pushed back until "tomorrow".
Today I told Dylon I felt like I was going to snap. Largely that's an exageration, and some of it is my own fault, but other times I do feel beat. A few times I've considered writing a list of things I'm frustrated with, but I have always refrained, mainly for the following reasons: A) I didn't want any friend of mine who was feeling a bit like they had a sadistic to read the list and then decide to use them against me. B) I don't want to appear more negative than I think I really am. C) Mainly though, I felt writing about them would be an indulgence, and I didn't want to entertain frustrations by writing on them and dwelling on them. However, I think writing them out could be a good way to get some of them out of my system, even if some of them do sound whiney (it is my blog, I reckon).
It blows my mind how if people aren't vegetarians in this country, they might as well be because no one seems to eat meat, and everytime I cook something with Katrin (which I DO enjoy doing by the way!) it's always vegetables. No emphasis on good juicy meat. It's something I'm going to try to work on when I'm cooking for myself. (However, I will add this: the vast majority of what I have eaten here has been good, regardless).
I wish I lived on campus sometimes (although that would mean I can't live in the city anymore, and I would ultimately rather live here). But I don't like how sometimes I have to run to catch the bus, and walk across town to do it. Most days it doesn't bother me, but sometimes, like today, it feels more like a hassle than anything. I usually opt to stay at the university, even if I don't have a class for two hours, because when I figure in waiting for a bus, driving to town, walking home, and then doing it all over again, it doesn't seem worth it. It gives me a chance to do something productive, like read the newspapers at school, or do my homework, or just read my novel, but it does feel a bit stifling sometimes, especially if I have to carry two tons of materials around in my shoulder bag that by now has pratically rubbed a hole through my thigh by now.
Sometimes I feel like I just have to beat the clock. Meet someone, go grocery shopping, get to class, get the bus, or whatever. I could be a better manager of time, so don't point that out. But some days just drive even the best time wizard up the wall.
Although I know I'm making great improvements in my language, some things I feel stuck on. I don't feel that my pronunciation is really improving, for example. It's a bit of a game for me to see how well I can acheive an accent. But it's an important game, similar to a hobby.
I don't like how some girls just can't take compliments. I say something to them and they just act real shy. Just pretend, and say thank you, if it's that big of a deal. It's called manners.
No more night classes that end at 8. No reason, just no more. This might just be venting from today, though. On the subject of classes though, no more damned lectures. If I wanted to die of boredom I would watch paint dry. I might not be able to get out of this one next semester, but I'm going to see what I can do.
Another thing I'm going to do is try not to have classes before 10.00, 9.00 at the earliest. Contrary to what you might be thinking, like my parents, this is not so I can spend the day in bed. I am in fact making an effort to get up around 8 AM, 9 AM at the latest every day, just to develop a good habit. But I don't like to hit the ground running, especially when the running involves making the bus. I'm not trying to shirk life's duties, but I'm not a morning person, even if I do decide that I want to get up "early" from now on.
That's mostly what I can think of right now. I'll say this too, although it rather contradicts what I wrote about regarding the mug. I may have mentioned this before, but sometimes I just wish I could start over in life. I feel like, even in this little space of mine, I have too much crap. Sometimes I want to take most everything and just throw it into the nearest shredder I can find in one painful swoop where it will be so fast I won't have time to have second thoughts, and then I can start things over somehow. I haven't done something that I want to start over, but it amazes me how stuff accumulates and somehow weighs someone down. A personal example of this for me is how I get nervous about traveling and overpack. All I really need is my computer, some of my books, some notebooks, and then of course appropriate clothes. Indeed, I have all that here, but sometimes things just look too cluttered. I've become a bit of a minimalist in life. I like the simple feel of things when there isn't much around. When there is, it just feels like I'm being stared at from everything I've boughten or somehow acquired, and it's just a reminder that I need to finish something before starting something new, or how I think I needed something, but it turned out to be a fleeting feeling, but now I'm stuck with whatever it is I bought.
And maybe here all of my opinions will change someday. I don't know. I'm just venting this out right now. Some of them were probably stated a little rashly. But hell, we all have our days, don't we? Today was not a bad day, but when it came to organizing something, I couldn't get my head on straight it felt like.
If you are still with me, I salute you. :-) Because despite all that, here's the good that I also want to share: I am getting quite settled in here, although I'm just now realizing it. I don't know if students qualify as expatriots, although according to the dictionary I looked in, anyone living abroad is an expatriot. I'm glad then to be one. I wonder sometimes what I will be doing years from now, and how this traveling will have effected me. Maybe some people travel when they are young because they can, and they want to get it out of their system before moving on in life. It sounds a bit like partying. Going through the partying stage and then getting it out of their system and growing up. I don't know. But I don't think traveling is like that for me. Sometimes I wonder if I could do this again. I'd like to. Peace Corps. ESL in Japan, Russian, or whereever. Working for NGOs in Third World Countries. Who knows. Sometimes I wonder if I'll burn out, or just want to settle down and see everything else from just being a tourist. But I don't really like that idea. It sounds boring at this point to me. I want to keep going out, and I can't really see myself settling in a single area for the rest of me life. How can I? I'm in Germany now, when do I go to Japan? I'm in Japan now, when do I get to see New Zealand. Now I'm in New Zealand, but I've never seen Egypt before. And so on.
I don't know, it's too late at night to think of that right now.
Regarding my title: I would like to watch the Oscars this year, as I've done every year since 1997, when "Titanic" won Best Picture. I was disappointed to see that "United 93", the film I really wanted to see get it wasn't nominated in the category. But I wasn't all that surprised either, based on what I read in the news. For those of you who do follow this, I personally think Scoresse will get it, although I don't know about that, either, since he has been passed up many times already. Until tonight, I had only seen "The Departed," which was well-made, but it didn't really move me. However, I had nothing to compare it with. But after having just finished "Babel", I would definitely choose that one. I thought the story was more interesting, and because the vast majority of it wasn't even in English (rather Arabic, Spanish, Japanese, or Japanese Sign Language) I found that more interesting as well, on a personal level. I'm no longer the movie buff that I was, but I still take it seriously.
Anyway, I need to get ready for my class tomorrow. Hope all is well.
Sincerely,
Tristan
I'm writing to you now late on a Thursday night. Ideally, I would like to write earlier in the week, but the time on Tuesdays, when I normally write, is nill anymore. And really, I'm quite tired at the moment, but I still feel that it is important to write and be consistant. In my personal diary it's become harder. I try to be consistant, but I don't write every day in it, and sometimes that makes me feel a bit like I'm shirking my duties. After the years of writing in it, it has become a bit of a habit and I can't really imagine not writing in it anymore. If you don't keep a diary, or a journal, or whatever you want to call it, it might be a good idea to start. It's probably not for everyone, but I don't regret starting mine; I actually wish I had begun sooner.
Anyway, about this week. There was one thing that I wanted to write about in my last entry that slipped my mind. While helping Katrin cook a meal, I accidently broke a bowl and a cup that fell out of my cupboard as I was reaching for a pan. The glass cereal bowl almost vaporized, considering it fell only a foot or so. That didn't bother me very much. I just swept up all the glass I could with our pitiful sorry excuse for a broom.
The mug, however, did bother me. I was fond of that cup. I had found it here left behind from another student gone by, so I more or less inherited it, in the same way I'm leaving my pots and pans here for the next student. For being just a dish, I got kind of attached to it. It was a yellow, bowl-shaped cup with a smiley face on one side. On a couple of occasions some of the other students here would laugh at it because it did look kinda cute. I was hoping it would last me through out the year. It didn't really break that much, but it broke in half, effectively retiring it from service. I didn't see the point in trying to glue it, I figured the glue would just melt anyway after repeated tea drinkings. It's not the first time I've broken a cup; once in Mexico I was watching a movie and accidently rolled over my drinking glass with the leg of a rocking chair, and although I laughed a bit about the broken dishes (what really does one do? It's a minor thing, just get new ones) I was a little bit hurt at the loss of this cup. Maybe it was the smiley face on it. And then it made me wonder why I felt so attached to it. I wonder if it is an unhealthy thing, or if there is some natural reason why we personify possesions sometimes. When I threw it away, I felt a bit like a traitor, like I was petting a dog that I knew I would have to put down, yet the dog still had no clue. I doubt the mug really cared, but somehow I did.
This week hasn't been to rough, although it's gotten quite frigid. Apparently snow is right around the corner, but on the weather forcast it keeps getting pushed back until "tomorrow".
Today I told Dylon I felt like I was going to snap. Largely that's an exageration, and some of it is my own fault, but other times I do feel beat. A few times I've considered writing a list of things I'm frustrated with, but I have always refrained, mainly for the following reasons: A) I didn't want any friend of mine who was feeling a bit like they had a sadistic to read the list and then decide to use them against me. B) I don't want to appear more negative than I think I really am. C) Mainly though, I felt writing about them would be an indulgence, and I didn't want to entertain frustrations by writing on them and dwelling on them. However, I think writing them out could be a good way to get some of them out of my system, even if some of them do sound whiney (it is my blog, I reckon).
It blows my mind how if people aren't vegetarians in this country, they might as well be because no one seems to eat meat, and everytime I cook something with Katrin (which I DO enjoy doing by the way!) it's always vegetables. No emphasis on good juicy meat. It's something I'm going to try to work on when I'm cooking for myself. (However, I will add this: the vast majority of what I have eaten here has been good, regardless).
I wish I lived on campus sometimes (although that would mean I can't live in the city anymore, and I would ultimately rather live here). But I don't like how sometimes I have to run to catch the bus, and walk across town to do it. Most days it doesn't bother me, but sometimes, like today, it feels more like a hassle than anything. I usually opt to stay at the university, even if I don't have a class for two hours, because when I figure in waiting for a bus, driving to town, walking home, and then doing it all over again, it doesn't seem worth it. It gives me a chance to do something productive, like read the newspapers at school, or do my homework, or just read my novel, but it does feel a bit stifling sometimes, especially if I have to carry two tons of materials around in my shoulder bag that by now has pratically rubbed a hole through my thigh by now.
Sometimes I feel like I just have to beat the clock. Meet someone, go grocery shopping, get to class, get the bus, or whatever. I could be a better manager of time, so don't point that out. But some days just drive even the best time wizard up the wall.
Although I know I'm making great improvements in my language, some things I feel stuck on. I don't feel that my pronunciation is really improving, for example. It's a bit of a game for me to see how well I can acheive an accent. But it's an important game, similar to a hobby.
I don't like how some girls just can't take compliments. I say something to them and they just act real shy. Just pretend, and say thank you, if it's that big of a deal. It's called manners.
No more night classes that end at 8. No reason, just no more. This might just be venting from today, though. On the subject of classes though, no more damned lectures. If I wanted to die of boredom I would watch paint dry. I might not be able to get out of this one next semester, but I'm going to see what I can do.
Another thing I'm going to do is try not to have classes before 10.00, 9.00 at the earliest. Contrary to what you might be thinking, like my parents, this is not so I can spend the day in bed. I am in fact making an effort to get up around 8 AM, 9 AM at the latest every day, just to develop a good habit. But I don't like to hit the ground running, especially when the running involves making the bus. I'm not trying to shirk life's duties, but I'm not a morning person, even if I do decide that I want to get up "early" from now on.
That's mostly what I can think of right now. I'll say this too, although it rather contradicts what I wrote about regarding the mug. I may have mentioned this before, but sometimes I just wish I could start over in life. I feel like, even in this little space of mine, I have too much crap. Sometimes I want to take most everything and just throw it into the nearest shredder I can find in one painful swoop where it will be so fast I won't have time to have second thoughts, and then I can start things over somehow. I haven't done something that I want to start over, but it amazes me how stuff accumulates and somehow weighs someone down. A personal example of this for me is how I get nervous about traveling and overpack. All I really need is my computer, some of my books, some notebooks, and then of course appropriate clothes. Indeed, I have all that here, but sometimes things just look too cluttered. I've become a bit of a minimalist in life. I like the simple feel of things when there isn't much around. When there is, it just feels like I'm being stared at from everything I've boughten or somehow acquired, and it's just a reminder that I need to finish something before starting something new, or how I think I needed something, but it turned out to be a fleeting feeling, but now I'm stuck with whatever it is I bought.
And maybe here all of my opinions will change someday. I don't know. I'm just venting this out right now. Some of them were probably stated a little rashly. But hell, we all have our days, don't we? Today was not a bad day, but when it came to organizing something, I couldn't get my head on straight it felt like.
If you are still with me, I salute you. :-) Because despite all that, here's the good that I also want to share: I am getting quite settled in here, although I'm just now realizing it. I don't know if students qualify as expatriots, although according to the dictionary I looked in, anyone living abroad is an expatriot. I'm glad then to be one. I wonder sometimes what I will be doing years from now, and how this traveling will have effected me. Maybe some people travel when they are young because they can, and they want to get it out of their system before moving on in life. It sounds a bit like partying. Going through the partying stage and then getting it out of their system and growing up. I don't know. But I don't think traveling is like that for me. Sometimes I wonder if I could do this again. I'd like to. Peace Corps. ESL in Japan, Russian, or whereever. Working for NGOs in Third World Countries. Who knows. Sometimes I wonder if I'll burn out, or just want to settle down and see everything else from just being a tourist. But I don't really like that idea. It sounds boring at this point to me. I want to keep going out, and I can't really see myself settling in a single area for the rest of me life. How can I? I'm in Germany now, when do I go to Japan? I'm in Japan now, when do I get to see New Zealand. Now I'm in New Zealand, but I've never seen Egypt before. And so on.
I don't know, it's too late at night to think of that right now.
Regarding my title: I would like to watch the Oscars this year, as I've done every year since 1997, when "Titanic" won Best Picture. I was disappointed to see that "United 93", the film I really wanted to see get it wasn't nominated in the category. But I wasn't all that surprised either, based on what I read in the news. For those of you who do follow this, I personally think Scoresse will get it, although I don't know about that, either, since he has been passed up many times already. Until tonight, I had only seen "The Departed," which was well-made, but it didn't really move me. However, I had nothing to compare it with. But after having just finished "Babel", I would definitely choose that one. I thought the story was more interesting, and because the vast majority of it wasn't even in English (rather Arabic, Spanish, Japanese, or Japanese Sign Language) I found that more interesting as well, on a personal level. I'm no longer the movie buff that I was, but I still take it seriously.
Anyway, I need to get ready for my class tomorrow. Hope all is well.
Sincerely,
Tristan
posted by Tristan | 2:54 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home